XIV Testimony
On memory, distance, and position
I was born into a society where obedience mattered more than truth,
and silence often mattered more than talent.
I did not study China from the outside.
I grew up inside its rules, its fears, and its rewards.
What I write is not journalism.
It is not theory.
It is testimony shaped by reflection.
Many foreigners still see China as a land of opportunity.
I once believed this myself.
But opportunity inside a political system is never neutral.
It always carries conditions.
Here I write about those conditions as I experienced them:
how power shapes daily life,
how discretion becomes a professional necessity,
how memory and public discussion carry different meanings,
and why, for some individuals, leaving becomes a form of independence.
I do not write to persuade.
I write to clarify.
This is not a story about a country.
It is a story about living inside a system.
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